Adult ADHD: What it's Like, What it Looks Like, and Tools for Professional Success
Welcome to another Mental Health Monday and Adulting piece on the blog! Today, we are discussing a topic that – once again – hits close to home. Adult ADHD. My husband and I both struggle from adult adhd, yet it looks completely different in the both of us.
Today on the blog we are going to be covering the following questions and topic areas:
- What is ADHD?
- Can adults still have ADHD?
- What does ADHD look like in adults?
- What is it like to have ADHD – a look inside our brains
- Tools for success for adults with ADHD
What is ADHD?
ADHD is the brain’s inability to produce as much dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline as “regular” people’s. Because of this, our brains have become “faster.” For every one thought a regular person has, we have several.
People with ADHD experience the world at a much quicker pace. We have time to overanalyze situations we shouldn’t, time to make up backstories that don’t exist, and restlessness because we have so much going on in our heads. All of these gears moving so quickly makes us tire out faster, but because our brains are restless when we sleep, our sleep quality decreases. This makes us less motivated, more sleepy, more likely to get distracted, and easier to upset.
Can adults still have adhd?
Yes, adults can still have ADHD and it is fairly common! According to statistics, 3 in 100 school aged children have ADHD. From that group, approximately 70 percent will carry over ADHD traits into adulthood. This means approx 4% of adults are living with treated ADHD.
The reason more people don’t know about this is because the growth in understanding of what ADHD is and looks like has grown at an incredible pace just in the last few decades. Up until fairly recently, ADHD was seen as laziness or a result of pure lack of discipline, whether physically or mentally, rather than as an actual disorder.
Undiagnosed and Underdiagnosed ADHD Groups
Females to this day are less likely to be diagnosed, whether adult or child, because we are less likely to show the “hyperactive” side of ADHD than our male counterparts. It is also estimated that fewer than 20% of adults with ADHD are diagnosed and being treated correctly.
@peterhyphen As a guy with ADHD, I don't know what it's like firsthand for the girls and women out there. Please make yourself heard in the comments! #ADHD #ADD
♬ ADHD in girls _ peterhyphen - Peter Hyphen
What does ADHD Look Like in Adults?
Just like any other brain diagnosis, ADHD will look different person to person. This, though, is something that is just now beginning to be discussed. The one size fits all model has been used for years and is just now being reexamined. Let me deep dive into that a little bit.
The "one size fits all" ADHD Model
If you were to look up a list of the most common symptoms, you would be told this:
- Impulsiveness
- Disorganization and problems prioritizing
- Poor time management skills
- Problems focusing on a task
- Trouble multitasking
- Excessive activity or restlessness
- Poor planning
- Low frustration tolerance
- Frequent mood swings
- Problems following through and completing tasks
- Trouble coping with stress
- Anxiety
- Chronic boredom
- Chronic lateness and forgetfulness
- Depression
- Trouble concentrating when reading
- Trouble controlling anger
- Problems at work
- Impulsiveness
- Low self-esteem
- Mood swings
- Poor organization skills
- Procrastination
- Relationship problems
- Substance abuse or addiction
- Low motivation
The REAL Adult ADHD Model
Again, each person is different, so many people will have some of these traits but not others. We also will all handle them differently. Notice in the list above, a lot of the traits contradicted themselves. What adult ADHD ACTUALLY looks like is more along these lines:
- Impulsiveness OR inability to make a decision all together
- Disorganization OR not being able to focus in a disorganized setting
- Problems focusing OR hyperfocus
- Restlessness OR spacing out
- Low frustration tolerance OR keeps everything built up until one thing sets them off
- Problems following through OR over committing
- Chronic lateness OR excessive earliness
- Trouble concentrating when reading OR overanalyzing while reading, going over text multiple times
- Procrastination OR distraction causing delay in finishing projects
Others of these are caused by the internal thought processes of someone with ADHD. Examples of this are:
- Relationship problems DUE to lack of communication with partner or partner lack of understanding of situation
- Low motivation DUE to feeling overwhelmed
- Anxiety DUE to overthinking or overanalyzing
- Mood swings DUE to lack of proper medication or overanalyzing everything which causes internal lack of focus and the “snap” effect
- Low self-esteem DUE to over analyzation of all situations including body, self comparison
@connordewolfe The last one is a struggle🥲✌️#adhd #adhdtiktok #allornothing
♬ original sound - Connor DeWolfe
What is it like Having ADHD as an Adult?
To answer this question, I am going to use a case study on me and my husband. As I mentioned before, my husband and I both have ADHD. While we have a lot of the same traits, we exhibit them differently. Let’s deep dive a little bit into this. Some of it may be a little bit humorous (or at least I’ll attempt to make it that way), but it is all very real and does affect our day to day lives. I think this is a great way for people to see how our brains work – male vs female.
Case study: Me vs My Husband and our ADHD
Hyperfocusing
We both hyperfocus on tasks when alone and in a quieter environment. Even the smallest sound (one of us watching a video on his phone in the other room) can disturb this mode and cause it to go away, leaving the rest of the day with distraction and the “starting” of a million tasks we won’t finish.
Disorganization or not being able to focus in an unorganized setting
Me: I am the EXTREME when it comes to this. When I had an office, my office had to be perfect in every way for me to focus on what I was doing. At home, I’m either freaking out cleaning something until midnight so it looks like it was professionally done, OR sitting, stewing in the mess I made and don’t have the energy to clean because I have so much else going on. This next video sums me up perfectly.
My Husband: Harry, on the other hand, is just baseline messy. For example, he’ll drink something, put the can down, and then forget about the can so it sits for a while. He’s the classic example of “I need to finish the task (throw the can away) before moving on to another task” type of ADHD.
Restlessness or Spacing Out
My Husband: Think about when you get on Tiktok for a short period of time and then you look at the clock and see you have been on it for hours. That is Harry’s type of “spacing out”. He focuses on a topic – maybe not the topic he should be – and focuses in on it for long periods of time.
Me: I am 100% the exact opposite (and it drives him crazy). If I’m not typing or writing, I am constantly moving my hands or toes. When working out, I am constantly trying to pop my neck or back or stopping to stretch. This video is a true view of what it is to watch a movie with me.
Trouble Processing vs Over Analyzing when Reading
Harry hates to read for the same reason I love it: we both over analyze. He processes information better in other ways while I have no issue processing it, I just want to read paragraphs over and over to make sure I get every detail.
Low Motivation due to Feeling Overwhelmed
This is more Harry than me. I have severe anxiety, so I am more likely to just disassociate and sleep or freak out internally all day, causing me to snap later about nothing at all. Harry is very good at identifying this type of behavior at this point and is great about encouraging me / making me feel loved when I do finally get the things done I have needed to do.
@ribkasucks I’ve created such a negative association with my home I’m really upset with myself. #mentalhealth #adhdtiktok #perfectionist
♬ ive never felt so alone - favsoundds
Harry has more telltale signs of low motivation/procrastination due to feeling overwhelmed. He does everything he can to not do the one thing he needs to do. This goes back to the communication aspect of relationships with people with ADHD. If we talk about why he is procrastinating, we are able to work through the roadblocks and get him where he needs to be.
Can ADHD cause Anxiety in Adults?
Adhd can (and often does) cause moderate to severe anxiety in adults just as it does in teens and children. It is estimated that 50% of adults with ADHD have some form of anxiety disorder.
Planner
Tips for optimizing planner use:
- Write down everything as it comes up. Wedding invites, etc. need to be written down right away
- Tell people you need to check with your planner before committing
- Color code your planner with colored pens so you know what type of activity is coming up
- Bring your planner with you everywhere, or have a note in your phone where you track upcoming activities to then update your planner at night
- Have set days for things: go to the grocery store every Tuesday, fill up your car every Wednesday, etc to stay on track
Noise Cancelling Headphones
Whether you have over the head or simple stud, headphones can cancel out the world and help increase focus significantly.
Tips for how to use these to optimize the experience:
- Have a “work” playlist you can only turn on when getting in the zone
- Tell others around you that you are going on noise cancelling so they don’t bother you
- Turn your phone on do not disturb
Pick a Scent
Having a particular scent that is consistent in your work environment – whether that is a candle, a diffuser, or a spray – can increase productivity and focus. Some of the top recommended ones are lemon, eucalyptus (my personal favorite), lavender, and jasmine.
Tips to optimize:
- Turn on / light at the same time every day
- Make sure it is in an area where you can smell it but not be distracted by it
- Set a timer so 30 min after turning it on, you can be notified it is time to get to work
Timer
Set a timer so you don’t spend too long on any one thing. This is one of the best time management hacks I have received as an adult with ADHD.
If you are sensitive to sound, this glowing orb timer is an amazing alternative to the ones that make noise.
Tips to optimize:
- Make a habit of setting the timer
- Don’t procrastinate once it is set
- Always give yourself 5 extra min to do things in case your brain wanders
- Don’t check the timer once set – that’ll cause anxiety
Clear Desk Organizers
Having clear desk organizers allows you to keep your space clean without losing things. This one from Amazon is under $30 and seemed like the best deal, but I am linking some others below as well.
Tips to optimize:
- Come up with a system of organizing that makes sense
- Be sure to keep the organization system organized
- Clean out the drawers every week
Throw out any pens, etc that no longer work