Why and How to Make Yourself a Priority
A couple weeks ago on the blog, I got real. Since then, my DMs on Instagram have been flooded with both sweetest messages and with questions about exactly how to make yourself a priority. Though I struggle with this personally, I do think I have become better with putting myself first, especially when I really need to. Like right now! I am at a moment in my life where I need to be my number one concern…. and that is okay. It is okay for me to do, and it is okay for you to do.
Why you NEED to Prioritize Yourself
Sometimes, the burdens you have going on in your own life are enough, and that is what you need to focus on. Anyone who tells you otherwise needs to reevaluate. This is not me giving you permission to be a complete asshole to people, or to not be empathetic to those around you. It is, rather, me saying it is “okay to not be okay” (as cliche as that sounds) and give yourself the space you need. I’m going to break this down a little bit more with my personal situation and the good old fashion tale of trying to pour from an empty cup.
Me and My Empty Cup: a Tale of Attempting to Refill
The past few months, I have been trying so very hard to pour into others the way I always have and always want to. If you know anything about enneagram, I am a type 2, which means I want to be the helper in your life! Nothing fills me up more than being the shoulder to lean on when people need me.
Love the enneagram? Click here to check out my gift guide for every enneagram type.
Recently though, I have realized just how dry my cup has become. As I mentioned in my article, I barely have the energy these days to get out of bed and play an equal in the loving partnership I have with my husband. Things that used to energize me now are roadblocks in my way. This made me realize it was time for a change.
In my life, I can only think of a handful of times I have intentionally put myself first. This time, though, has been beyond the most deliberate. At first, I felt guilty for some of the changes I had made in my life; “my friends/family need me” went through my head with every text I didn’t return and every issue I chose to ignore. But the past couple weeks, I finally took a step and realized my friends are amazing people, and would prefer I get everything in control than spiral to a point of no return.
Ways I am Intentionally Refilling my Cup
Some of the ways I am intentionally attempting to refill my cup (that you should try, too!) are:
Downtime away from my phone – being a blogger, people expect me to be on my phone all the time. Truly, I hate my phone. While also increasing communication, the phone also takes away the personal connection people typically have. Taking time away from this form of communication has lowered my anxiety significantly.
Saying no when I need to – I have always been a “yes” person. Standing firm and not over committing myself has given me the mental breaks I need.
Getting back into journaling – I used to journal all the time in middle school, high school, and even college. When I started blogging, I stopped taking the time to write personally about things that were going through my head. I am always a lot more sane when I make journaling a priority, so it is something I am working hard to get back into. They say it takes 66 days to form a habit/make it be second nature, so I am striving to hit that point again.
This habit is always easier when I like the journal I am writing in. I’m picky about that. The spine has to have some give… the lines have to be well spaced… This is the journal I am currently using and loving. Click here to read more about it.
How to Make Yourself a Priorty
So how does one exactly make themselves a priority? It’s tough, and not something that happens overnight. After a couple months of making a conscious effort, I am finally starting to see changes in how I do things or place myself mentally.
Take Time for Yourself
I know that this is technically the point of this entire article, but I want to say it again. YOU are a priority. Treat yourself like it! Take yourself on dates. Practice self care like a bath. These items don’t require a tremendous amount of time or energy, but will make you glad you did them.
Move your Body
I don’t care if you are sprinting laps or simply stretching in your living room. MOVE! 30 min a day is all it takes to feel better. Your entire being will thank you for it!
Click here to read my article about my favorite athletic attire pieces (and what is/is not worth the money).
Hydrate your Skin and your Body
Hydrate your skin and your brain! If working from home, do eye patches while sitting in front of the computer. Drink a gallon of water. Do face masks you know work well for your skin type. If your skin is on the drier side, or if you get blackheads (like me), I have provided some recs below.
Find some Introspective Reads
I grew up loving all things fiction. In recent years, though, books that are self help, introspective, or all about personal development have been what I have been giving more of my time to. They make me think and reassess myself and my day to day life! Some I have been loving have been linked below.
Do What You Need to Do
I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have caused myself to go down a dark spiral because I didn’t prioritize the things I needed to do in life and my own self care. You are important… Please don’t forget it. There is no “you” without your mental health 🙂
Remember: Change Doesn't Happen Right Away
This is what I am struggling with MOST right now. I go through the active steps to make myself better, only to relapse and feel empty again after a few good days. Remembering that change doesn’t happen overnight, and that giving yourself grace is important has been a game changer for me.
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please check out mentalhealth.gov for resources.
How and Why to Make Yourself a Priority
